To my darling: Month 2

2nd month
Let the fun begin! Photograph by Jenna-Leigh Storey.

To my darling Adriana,

Happy 2 months to you my little cherub! This past month has been filled with many firsts for you as we meandered ourselves around some heartache and joy.

You reached your 6 week mark, which itself was as joyous as when your cherub cheeks discovered how to crease into a smile. It lights up your indecisive coloured eyes as you recognise me when I walk into your room to pick you up from your restful slumber. The amount of facial expressions, you’ve discovered is a discovery in itself. The little sad eyes and inverted curve you pull when you’re unhappy is so damn cute too! Not to mention how you frown the sarcastic frown your father has so expertly mastered.

As happy as I was for you cherub faces to break into smiles and frowns, I dreaded your 6 week vaccines. I was worried how you would take the pain that accompanies the silver injection piercing your oh so delicate skin. I just had to face reality that vaccines are no fun for mommies and their babies. Under my breath, I said a silent prayer that the pain would be as swift as the nurse injected you. Naturally, your big eyes looked in horror as you screamed in pain. It made my heart sore as I quickly cradled you, hoping I could take your pain away.

That very afternoon, you met my maternal grandmother for the very first time. My dear avó (granny in Portuguese), looked on proudly as you slept soundly. I could see the twinkle in her eye that she met her very first great grandchild. I know it’s always been her prayer that she’d live long enough to see her great grandchildren. She said that I need to appreciate every moment as time slips through our fingers so quickly.

Exactly a week later, pain and heartache returned as I received the news that my paternal grandmother passed away. Regardless of her health issues, it still hit me hard.  You were awake in my arms as I sobbed at the news. You just quietly searched my eyes, almost as if you were searching for the answers to my pain. I couldn’t believe how in one week, my emotions could swing from elation to heartbreak.

Although you didn’t get the chance to meet my paternal avó, I can say this much. My avó Celeste was the happiest little lady with always a smile on her face. I’ll never forget her laugh and the love she had for her family. A completely selfless woman even until she departed from this earth, thinking about others instead of herself.

As much as my heart hurt and will for a long time, this past month saw you grow into a beautiful cherub with the chubbiest cheeks. Watching you smile, coo and gurgle is the sweetest thing that my cheeks hurt from smiling. Who knew that something that is so simple and pure would move me.

As I sweetly caress your cheeks and trace your lips, I’m amazed how much you’ve changed before my eyes. I take note of how much longer your eyelashes are, the slight kink in your hair while I wonder how fast are you really growing that my mind can’t keep up. From your strong little body that kicks feverishly as if you’re ready to run a race and the fact that you’ve already slept through the night is testament to the fact that time is only a borrowed entity that we need to relish every moment before it slips out of our grasp.

I love you my darling <3

P.S. Avó Celeste, we love you and miss you dearly. Forever in our hearts.

My dear Avó holding me, as 13 month old to her left and my older cousin Sandra to her right.
My dear Avó holding me as 13 month old to her left and my older cousin Sandra to her right. This photo was taken on my first trip to Madeira in 1989.

 

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About Nikita Camacho

Entertainment and lifestyle writer using the digital space as her playground and work space.

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